Ideas for a Grief Gift Basket
One of the first questions that we ask ourselves when we learn that someone we love is grieving tends to be “what can I do to help”? The short, and uncomfortable answer, is that there is nothing. You can’t fix this. You can’t make it go away. However, that doesn’t mean that there’s absolutely nothing that you can do to help at all. The usual Midwestern answer tends to be food and flowers. We show people that we love them by feeding them. That’s a good start, but people eventually run out of fridge space.
I usually opt for creating something I refer to as a “grief gift basket”. It’s not something that can be created instantly, but that’s totally fine. Many grieving people tend to find that their support from others in their life dwindles after about a month. Life continues on for many, but the grief is just getting started. I try to give this grief basket within the first 2-4 weeks after a loss.
This is my example list of items that I have included when I’ve made these in the past, including the reasons I included them:
Reusable water bottle or cup: Crying is thirsty work and hydration is important.
Chocolate: Memories of a loved one are painful at first and become bittersweet with time.
Adult coloring book & colored pencils: Sometimes you just need to allow your mind to drift while keeping your hands busy.
Travel tissue packets: Tears are inevitable, no matter where you go.
Face masks: Taking care of your delicate skin can feel refreshing, when your face feels tender.
Grief support book: There are so many good ones. You will want to find something that is supportive, but doesn’t require a lot of focus or reading to get through.
Notebook: To write notes, to-do lists, and/or memories of their loved one.
Lip balm: Your lips tend to be the first sign that your skin is dehydrated.
Bath bombs: Take some time to relax in the tub.
Candle: Sometimes you just need to allow your mind to drift with something you can focus on.
Cozy blanket: For comfort.
Gift card to a local restaurant that does carry out or delivery.
Gift card to a local coffee shop with a drive thru.
Include a card where you explain the reasons for each of the items that are in the basket.
You may notice that the majority of these items are for self-care. Personalize them for the person that you plan to gift this to. Feel free to get creative and include small items that you know that they like.
Keep in mind that self-care takes energy, which is a precious commodity during the first few months of grief. You want your gifts to be supportive and not demanding. Focus is in short supply at the beginning, so include items that don’t require a lot of brain power or attention.
